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Locating Celebrities

Are you tried of incredibly large crowds of fans and paparazzi each time you visit your favorite celebrity? Or do you miss your favorite celebrity completely because of incorrect personal appearance information? Then the Stalk-R-Us celebrity locator service is the answer to all of your celebrity locating needs.

Celesched

Celesched will automatically display a schedule of the day-by-day location of your celebrity in calendar format anywhere you have internet access. Most schedules are available six to eight weeks in advance. With celesched there are fewer lost contact opportunities, allowing you to plan your celebrity travel plans weeks in advance.

Locamatic

Locamatic will deliver to your Internet browser, palm pilot, graphical beeper, or graphical cell phone a real time map with the currently location of your favorite celebrity shown at the red arrow. Up to the second information about the current location of your favorite celebrity is available anywhere, any time. The latest in satellite based GPS precision insures that your maps are accurate. Instantaneous directions from your current GPS location to the celebrity GPS location are provided in text format. With Locamatic there are no lost contacts due to last minute celebrity schedule changes.

Transportator

Let the Transportator service solve all of your celebrity transportation needs. Instead of arranging your own travel, let Transportator make your travel plans in advance. Transportator can be tailored to your lifestyle, with options such as staying at either the lowest cost hotel or the same hotel as your favorite celebrity. For a small additional fee, Stalk-R-Us will assign a local representative to accompany you on your celebrity travels in order to make those inevitable last minute changes. Transportator frees you from all travel arrangement drudgery.

Subscribe Today

For only pennies a day, you can subscribe to any of the Stalk-R-Us services for your favorite celebrity. Whether you are interested in just the base package or the more specialized Locamatic or Transportator services, our friendly sales representatives will be able to custom tailor a package specifically for your individual needs.

We Need Your Help

Stalk-R-Us is currently in an embryonic state and requires your financial help. By becoming a Stalk-R-Us investor you will be able to directly participate in Stalk-R-Us experience. Stalk-R-Us has been very fortunate to retain the Porcine Fund to provide venture funding. Please make all investments directly through the Porcine Fund. Invest today. You'll be glad you did.


Each service sold separately. Additional cost for each celebrity. Your results may vary. Stalk-R-Us is not liable for incorrect information. Stalk-R-Us is not liable for incidental or consequential losses.

All written content of this web site is solely the editorial opinion of Jeffrey Sward. All images, graphics, and written content of this web site, including the html files, are creative products covered by copyright law. All content copyright Jeffrey Sward 2002-2004. All rights reserved. No portion of this web site or its constituent elements may be reproduced in any form, by any means, without prior written permission. So there.

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